10 Ways to Change Your Mindset
Getting Started With Your Mindset Makeover
There are many ways to change your mindset about anything that is holding you back in life. Everyone has a certain combination of things that will work best for them. I highly encourage you to try many different techniques until you find the fit that resonates with you the most. Two of the most popular starter steps would be positive affirmations and visualization.
If you haven't heard of these, affirmations are positive thoughts that you prepare ahead of time and tell yourself several times a day until they become a belief. For example, if you are struggling with self-worth, you can say "I am worthy of achieving my dreams." Visualization is picturing with absolute clarity and belief that what you want in your life will be. One thing that helps with this is creating a vision board, which is a board you fill with everything that you want your life to be like. If you want a million dollars, a fast car, and to travel exotic places, these are the things that need to be one the vision board. It is your choice to do this within your mind, on a board, or maybe even both. No matter what you do to aid your visualization, the more detailed you can be the more likely you are to achieve the exact things you want in your life.
The human mind is powerful and these tools work well to maximize that power. Both visualizations and affirmations work without special skills. With just your mind and a little effort, you will be well on your way to your own mindset makeover. In fact, your mind is so powerful that it believes whatever you are telling it. These with the tools I am about to tell you all make it easier to help your mind work for you, instead of against you.
Success is really about your mindset.— -F. Gary Gray
Fact vs Belief
Before we dig deeper into the 10 ways to change your mindset we need to understand the difference between fact and belief. Once we understand this difference, mindset development becomes much simpler. We tell ourselves a million lies every day. Often, we hear these lies from others, whether it be friends, family, or the media around us. Eventually, we come to believe these lies are truths. Below are some common examples of lies you might tell yourself and what the facts might be. They are just a few simple examples for you, so you can get the idea. Your personal beliefs maybe much more complex but it is very important to recognize them within yourself.
I would also recommend writing all your negative self-beliefs down on a piece of paper and then rewrite them as facts. You can do it in a similar fashion as the table below. If you are struggling to find the fact for the belief, you can ask a friend that you trust to honest and real with you. Another idea you can try is to take a break and come back to the list after you have been working on your mindset for a couple weeks. It took you, your whole life up till now to be who you are it is going to take a little time to reverse those deep routed thoughts. The key is not to ever give up because you are worth it.
I am a bad parent.
It is just a bad day.
I am a failure.
We all fail, you just hit a roadblock.
I am bad writer.
You just need practice, or you just need more confidence.
I can't learn__.
You just need to find a new way to learn it.
I am worthless.
No one is worthless, there is value in all life.
Your mindset matters. It affects everything - from the business and investment decisions you make to the way you raise your children, to your stress levels and overall well-being.— Peter Diamandis
1. Challenge Your Thoughts
If the first step of changing anything in your life is the mindset you have, then the first step is to challenge your thoughts. This doesn't mean beating yourself up for those thoughts. Instead, question why you have them. Determine what the truth really is. If you are not sure how to challenge your thoughts please try the following:
- Create a belief vs facts list
- Take the belief list and pretend that those are the words of your dearest friend's or maybe even your child's words. Write yourself a letter disproving those beliefs.
- Write your positive affirmations based on the belief list
- Talk to your closest friend about what your biggest strengths and weaknesses are and compare that to what you believe about yourself
- Pick one belief at a time confront it.
- Start an art journal with a positive belief theme.
Don't be afraid to follow your own intuition and creativity with the process of mindset development. In fact, mindset works because of you and you know yourself better than anyone.
Change your thoughts and you change your world. Norman— Vincent Peale
2. Write Out an Action Plan
Changing your mindset really does work yet until you find the right way to make it work for you it will feel like a challenge. You may feel outside your comfort zone at times and you may even want to give up. Heck, I gave up a thousand times. Truth be told I kept giving up until one day I decided to write it all down. I wrote down every little part of my overall plan that I could. I keep adding and changing as I need to adapt. The moment I started this was the moment it clicked for me.
The secret here is not just to write what you will do to change your thoughts and your life. The secret is to write what you will do when things go off the plan. Your plan can be simple or complex but it needs to include what you will do when you fail. As failing is unavoidable. This is what I do when I go off plan even for a day or two. I start by clearing my mind of all negative thoughts. I follow this by taking a deep breath rereading the plan. Lastly, I take action. I start where I left off, as I have a tendency to start over. This is where I get stuck in a loop of always starting over. I have learned now though that I can always revisit something later if need be. Failure in any form is hard for me. I beat myself up for missing a goal by even an hour, so this has been the biggest trick to keep me going. My biggest advice for writing your action plan is to write it around your own personal triggers.
3. Adopt a Healthy Lifestyle
This one is hard for many of us. With our busy lifestyles and personal stresses, but it really does make a huge difference in how our mindset works. Eating right, drinking enough water, getting proper sleep, and exercise will allow us to be at our best. Being our best will make chaining our mindset easier. Think about it, if you feel like crap your thoughts tend to be more negative. Also making yourself a priority allows us to give more to our family, friends, and work.
We need to make time to rest and relax too. Do something you enjoy and feed your soul as well. A healthy lifestyle goes beyond just the physical but to mental well-being as well. Give yourself permission to take care of your mental health too! We tend to be hard on ourselves. If you are battling any mental health issue that can be true to the extreme. We need to let go of masochistic tendencies and love ourselves in all ways possible. For me, this meant taking care of my PSTD and self-care has been and will remain a key factor in that.
I know from personal experience how fear and low self-worth can cripple one's ability to succeed in life. But with a little support, caring and inspiration, miracles can happen.— Richard Hatch
4. Make the Best of What You Got
This can mean a lot of things. But if you say I am not good enough you are wrong. You are enough and you have enough and even if you don't have enough you will. You need to trust that. Look at who and what you have in your life and make it work. I have to make do a lot. So much so that I have learned you can use it to your advantage and it is a chance to be creative. I used to feel I didn't have enough people in my life, once I decided to be proactive and open up to the few people I did have I realize they were more than enough. I am poor, with two kids, I am a single mom, I have health issues that keep me from working. I thought for a long time that defined me and that I didn't have enough, therefore, was a worthless failure. Funny thing was I started researching what life like was in the Great Depression and I learned just what it meant to make do with what you got and gave me a ton of perspective on what I really needed. It was by pure accident that I found a creative outlet in my life with making do. Now when I feel I need something my first thought is to go google and Pinterest and search for a DIY. I often end up coming up with a better solution for what I need and more often than not with what I already have. Then I feel 10x more self-reliant which has become addicting in a good way. It is hard at first because we live in a consumer culture but breaking free from that can do amazing things for yourself worth.
5. Write Your Own Eulogy
Oh I know this sounds morbid, right? But hear me out. I do this in two parts whenever I feel super stuck. In fact, I am working on doing it again soon as I am making a lot of changes in my life and I find it adds a ton of perspective and clarifies my life vision well. First, you write a Eulogy for how you have lived your life so far. Write honestly if you feel you have made a mess of your life say so just don't let the negative sink into your mind for too long. Clear your mind, and come back to write a second Eulogy one that reflects the way you want to live your life from here on out. The one that shows all that you will accomplish. Make it about the you that you that you know you will be. Keep them somewhere that you can look back on when you feel like giving up. This is really a powerful motivational tool. I first did this in high school and I really wish I still had that one. I know it would show just how far I have come in my life so far.
Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.— Khalil Gibran
6. Show Gratitude
Being grateful is easy, but showing constant gratitude can be a bit of a challenge when you have a negative outlook. You might feel you have nothing to offer. There can be any number of mental and emotional blocks stopping you from expressing the gratitude you may feel. Try set those reasons aside, even if you can't fully forget them. I can tell you from personal experience you will find that even the smallest actions to show your gratitude is liberating and will bring you much joy.
This could be small actions or large. In fact, I think it is the small things that we do that show the most gratitude. The person who helps me the most happens to be the one I have the most trouble showing how much appreciate him. Every attempt to try to help him has been shut down. This lead to overwhelming guilt. He didn't want anything in return because that is not how he is. I chose to push all that aside and started bringing them breakfast once or twice a month, just to chat and brighten his day. It didn't take long before that guilt lessened and we started to bond more. I still don’t know if he sees how grateful I am or not but just finding a small way to say thanks has done wonders to Lessing my guilt and improving myself worth. This was not why I did it but it was a well-received lesson. Never underestimate a small act of kindness.
There is another way to show gratitude and it is not to anyone that you feel you owe anything to. What I mean is show gratitude towards life. Smile when you see the sun is up in the morning, laugh at the birds playing in your yard. Complement a total stranger. Doing small things just to show you are thankful for your life will keep you in a positive mood. No act is too small and every small act adds up. Before you know it, even if not much has changed in your life it will feel like everything is different.
7. Accept Your Emotions
One trend I have noticed with those that talk about personal development is they all talk about the power of positive thinking, and how mindset works. Yet I also notice that they tend to skip right over emotions. There is a lot of focus on getting rid of negative thoughts and emotions even though the "bad" emotion is okay. Let me try to explain what I mean. For long-term goals, life changes, and general wellbeing positive thoughts and the proper mindset are key. There is a big but here, emotions are a normal, natural, and necessary part of life. Your outlook on life and how you use them will determine if they derail you or not.
The best example of this is a personal one. When I was 19 I moved from one coast to the other. I was settled in just a few days when I got a call that my Grandpa, who was one of the few people I was connected to emotionally, had passed away. I got off the phone very calmly. Then I cried. I don't know if I have ever cried that hard in my life. I cried so hard for all the guilt of leaving as much as for missing him. I cried in front of a room full of strangers who were also my housemates. Then I got up to put on my best dress my tallest shoes threw a party because I couldn't celebrate at home. I told everyone to ask about my grandpa and after each answer, we took a shot. No one got totally wasted but we all got to get to know each other. One roommate said he had never seen anyone handle death so well. My answer was this, "I hurt badly, I miss him, but I will not darken his memory with my pain. I will use it to make him proud." I have gotten a little off track in my life but I always come back to that. Guilt is a sign you need to look for a lesson.
The fact is our emotions not only make us human but guide us, yet the direction they guide us in is totally 100% up to us and our mindset. Sadness can show you what you are missing. Being hurt is part of being human. Never devalue that by pushing it away. Always make room to feel what you need to feel but also use it to push through to a better you.
I need to learn to be happy and enjoy the achievement rather than already thinking about what I could have done better.— Lizzie Armitstead
8. Enjoy Those Achievements
We get so caught up in moving forward and so rushed for success that we push right past the now, straight into what we could do better next time. Even what we should be doing next. There is no pause at all. Heck, half the people I know are jumping into the next step before they are done with the thing they are working now. This is where burnout comes from but it is also where we start to forget what we have done right. This habit of pushing as hard as we can is the exact reason we start to feel like nothing is getting better. No matter how small the achievement is YOU need to pause just for a moment. Breathe it in, soak it up, and cherish it. Let that joy of success sink in so it can fuel your next, maybe even bigger moment.
9. Surround Yourself With People Who are What You Want to Be
If you want to be more loving make sure the people you spend the most time are also loving. If you want to have fewer negative thoughts, consume less negative media. This could be avoiding the news, not listening to hate-filled songs, or unfollowing or deleting all the drama queens on your social media. If you want to be a writer start networking to make friends who are writing. Make sure the values you are working towards are the values you see the most in your everyday life. It really is that simple.
10. Be Playful
Just as important as taking time to enjoy achievements is the need to just enjoy life. Be silly. Laugh often and hard. Love with your whole heart. Playfulness is a great way to get in touch with that inner child and forget all your stresses for just a while. Sometimes on a stressful day, we turn on the music and just dance. Another family favorite is playing in the mud and water fights. There are endless ways to be silly and playful. We need this playfulness, I believe our love of SnapChat filters and color runs prove this.
Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.— -Dr. Sesuss
Mindset is Everything!
We all want to be better at something. Some of us need to lose weight while others just want to be better humans. Maybe you want more success, or to be a better parent. If you are like me you want to be a better everything and that is okay too. If so just pick a spot to start and build from there. This list is just some of my favorite ways to build a mindset that I have needed. Remember we are all works of art that will never be finished so do the best you can every day to be the very best you can be. I found this great Youtube video about set to give you a little bit more food for thought I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
I would love to hear from you! What are you working on the most right now? What has helped you the most develope a better mindset to achieve your goals?
Questions & Answers
© 2018 Daniele M Robbers