10+ years (multiple fields) helping people meet their personal goals. Personal development and wellness have become her passion!
Getting Started With Your Mindset Makeover
There is no one way to change your mindset. When wanting to make a change, this is where one should start. I encourage you to try different techniques until you find the right fit for you. The most popular beginner techniques would be positive affirmations and visualization.
Affirmations are positive thoughts you tell yourself at least once a day until they become a belief. For example, if you are struggling with self-worth, you can say, “I am worthy of achieving my dreams.” I recommend saying your affirmation out loud in the mirror.
Visualization is picturing with absolute clarity and belief that what you want in your life will be. One thing that helps visualization is creating a vision board. You should fill a vision board with pictures and quotes that represent the things you want most in life. If you have physical goals like getting a new car, put a picture of the actual car you want. For more abstract goals, such as wanting to be more confident, choose items or even a quote that represents this. I would use a sexy photograph of a plus-size model. Nothing says confidence more. It is your choice to do this within your mind, on a board, or both. No matter what you do to aid your visualization, the more detailed you can be, the more likely you are to achieve the exact things you want in your life.
These tools maximize the power of the human mind. Both visualizations and affirmations work without special skills. All you need for your mindset makeover is your mind. These tools I am about to tell you make it easier to help your mind work for you, instead of against you.
Success is really about your mindset.
— F. Gary Gray
Fact vs. Belief
Before we dig deeper into the 10 ways to change your mindset, we need to understand the difference between fact and belief. Once we understand this difference, mindset development becomes much simpler. We tell ourselves a million lies every day. We hear these lies from others every day. Whether heard from friends, family, or the media, we come to believe them. Below are common examples of lies you might tell yourself and what the facts might be. Your personal beliefs may be more complex. The key is to recognize them within yourself.
I would also recommend writing all your negative self-beliefs down on a piece of paper and then rewriting them as facts. The table below.is a great way to do this exercise. If you are struggling to find the fact for the belief, you can ask a friend you trust to help. You took your whole life to build the negative self take it will take time to reverse this bad habit. The key is to never give up because you are worth feeling good about yourself.
I am a bad parent.
It is just a bad day.
I am a failure.
We all fail, you just hit a roadblock.
I am bad writer.
You just need practice, or you just need more confidence.
I can't learn__.
You just need to find a new way to learn it.
I am worthless.
No one is worthless, there is value in all life.
Your mindset matters. It affects everything - from the business and investment decisions you make to the way you raise your children, to your stress levels and overall well-being.
— Peter Diamandis
1. Challenge Your Thoughts
The first step is to challenge your thoughts. This doesn’t mean punishing yourself for those thoughts. Instead, question why you have them. Determine what the truth is. If you are not sure how to challenge your thoughts, please try:
- Create a belief vs. facts list
- Take the belief list and pretend that those are the words of your dearest friend or maybe even your child’s words. Write yourself a letter disproving those beliefs.
- Write your positive affirmations based on the belief list.
- Talk to your closest friend about what your biggest strengths and weaknesses are and compare that to what you believe about yourself.
- Pick one belief at a time and confront it.
- Start an art journal with a positive belief theme.
Don’t be afraid to follow your own intuition. Be creative with the process of mindset development. Mindset works because of you and you know yourself better than anyone.
Change your thoughts and you change your world. Norman
— Vincent Peale
2. Write Out an Action Plan
Changing your mindset works but is challenging in the beginning. You may feel outside your comfort zone. You may even want to give up. Heck, I gave up a thousand times. Truth is, I kept giving up until one day I wrote it all down. I wrote every part of the overall plan. I keep adding and changing as I need to adapt. The moment I started this was the moment it clicked for me.
Do not just write what you will do to change your thoughts and your life. Ask yourself how you will handle setbacks. Your plan can be simple, but it needs to include what you will do when you fail. Failing is unavoidable.
This is my routine when I get off track: I start by clearing my mind of all negative thoughts. I follow this by taking a deep breath and then rereading the plan. Last, I take action. I start where I left off, as I often get stuck in a loop of always starting over. I have learned that I can always revisit something later if needed.
Failure in any form is hard for me. I beat myself up for missing a goal by even an hour, so this has been the biggest trick to keep me going. My best advice for writing your action plan is to write it around your own personal triggers.
3. Adopt a Healthy Lifestyle
This is hard for many of us. With our busy lifestyles and personal stresses, it makes a huge difference in how our mindset works. To be our best, we need to eat right, drink enough water, and exercise. We also need the right amount of quality sleep. Being at our best will make chaining our mindset easier. If you feel like crap, your thoughts are more negative. It also creates a subtle shift in your mindset as you prove that you're worth the time and effort.
Getting rest and relaxing are vital to our well-being. Do something you enjoy and feed your soul. A healthy lifestyle goes beyond just the physical but to mental well-being. Give yourself permission to take care of your mental health, too! We are hard on ourselves. If you are battling any mental health issue that can be true to the extreme. We need to let go of masochistic tendencies and love ourselves in all ways possible. For me, this meant taking care of my PSTD and self-care has been and will remain a key factor in that.
I know from personal experience how fear and low self-worth can cripple one's ability to succeed in life. But with a little support, caring and inspiration, miracles can happen.
— Richard Hatch
4. Make the Best of What You've Got
This can mean a lot of things. If you say I am not good enough, you are wrong. You are enough. You have enough and even if you don’t have enough, you will. You need to trust that. Look at what you have in your life and make it work. I have to make do with a lot. So much so that I have learned how to use it to my advantage. I used to feel I didn’t have enough people in my life. I realize the few people I had were more than enough.
I am poor, with two kids. I am a single mom. I have health issues that keep me from working. I thought for a long time that defined me. I had this belief that not having enough meant I wasn’t enough. I found the solution to not having enough by researching the great depression. I knew that not had enough during that time but people got through it.
I never expected to find a creative outlet in my life by making do. Now when I have a need, I go straight to searching the web for a DIY. A lot of the time what I find is better a solution and doable with what I already have on hand. Living in a consumer culture, this concept can be difficult at first but is worth the many benefits
5. Write Your Own Eulogy
This sounds morbid, but hear me out. This works by aiding you to find clarity in your life plan. This exercise adds a sense of urgency to achieve your goals. It is important to avoid death. If we were immortal, we could postpone our goal forever.
I do this practice in two parts and is a useful tool when feeling stuck. When I am making a lot of changes in my life, I find it adds perspective and clarifies my life vision.
First, you write a Eulogy for how you have lived your life so far. Write with pure honesty. If you feel you have made a mess of your life, that is okay. Be careful to not dwell on the negative feeling this is a tool for self-reflection, not self-mutilation.
Next, clear your mind and come back to write a second eulogy reflecting the way you want to live your life from here on out. This one shows what you will accomplish.
Keep them somewhere safe so you can look back on them. This is a powerful motivational tool. I first did this in high school and I wish I still had them. I know it would show just how far I have come in my life so far.
Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
— Khalil Gibran
6. Show Gratitude
Being grateful is easy. Showing constant gratitude can be a challenge when you have a negative outlook. You might feel you have nothing to offer. There can be many mental and emotional blocks stopping you from expressing the gratitude that you feel. Try to set those reasons aside, even if you can’t forget them.
Personal experience has taught me that even the smallest expressions of gratitude can liberate you from guilt. The size of the action doesn’t matter. Often the small things we do show the most gratitude.
My dad helps is the one who helps me the most. He is the type that wants nothing in return and I don’t have the means to repay him. This creates an overwhelming amount of guilt for me. I pushed all that guilt aside and said thank you. I bring him breakfast once or twice a month. Just to chat and brighten his day.
It didn’t take long before that guilt lessened and we bonded more. I still don’t know if he sees how grateful I am. Yet this one small action has improved our relationship and my self-esteem. Never underestimate a small act of kindness.
Show a great level of gratitude towards life. Smile when you see the sun is up in the morning. Laugh at the birds playing in your yard. Compliment a total stranger. Doing these small things every day to express your gratitude for life is vital to happiness. No act is too small. Before you know it will feel like everything is different
7. Accept Your Emotions
The trend in personal development is to focus only on positive thoughts and feelings even though the “bad” emotions are normal. Let me try to explain what I mean. For long-term goals, life changes, and general well-being, positive thoughts and the proper mindset are key. Yet all emotions are a natural and necessary part of life. Your outlook on life and how you use them will determine if they derail you or not.
When I was 19, I moved from one coast to the other. A few days after I arrived, I got the call telling me my grandpa had passed away. I loved him. What made this so hard was that I knew he loved me. I can’t say this about most of my family.
This is how I handled the news: I got off the phone. Then I cried. I don’t know if I have ever cried that hard in my life. I cried out of guilt as much as mourning. I cried in front of a room full of strangers who were also my housemates.
Then I did something that shocked my new roommates. I walked over to my stuff got dressed up and told them we are having a party. I needed to celebrate his life. I need to share the love he had for me. This house full of strangers and I held our own wake. One roommate had said I have seen no one handle death so well. My answer was this: “I hurt badly, I miss him, but I will not darken his memory with my pain. I will use it to make him proud.” When I get off track, I always come back to that.
Guilt is a sign you need to look for a lesson. Fear shows us what is important. Sadness teaches us what we desire. Loneliness teaches us how to love. Our emotions not only make us human but guide us. They give us direction. What direction is 100% up to us and our mindset? Never devalue that by pushing it away. Always make room to feel and use it to push through to a better you.
I need to learn to be happy and enjoy the achievement rather than already thinking about what I could have done better.
— Lizzie Armitstead
8. Enjoy Those Achievements
We get so focused on our big goals we ignore all the progress we are making right now. We never stop and breathe. In our minds, we are failures tell we achieve this ideal goal. This content pushing forward is a huge factor in burnout.
We never get to the end. We never stop learning and archiving. So it is vital to celebrate even the smallest of achievements. This idea provides us with the motivation to do more. It also grants us perspective. Keeping what we have achieved in our minds allows us to that all this work isn’t for nothing.
If you are feeling burnt out, make a list of all the positive things you have done this week. Small things such as paying a bill or washing the dishes can be a win. Everything big and small stacks towards achieving your goals.
9. Surround Yourself With People Who Are What You Want to Be
If you want to be more loving make sure the people you spend the most time with are loving. If you want to have fewer negative thoughts, consume less negative media. Like avoiding the news, not listening to hate-filled songs, or unfollowing the drama queens on your social media. If you want to be a writer start networking to make friends who are writing. Make sure the values you are working towards are the values you see the most in your everyday life. It is that simple.
10. Be Playful
Just as important as taking time to enjoy achievements is the need to just enjoy life. Be silly. Laugh often and hard. Love with your whole heart. Playfulness is a great way to get in touch with that inner child and forget all your stresses for just a while. Sometimes on a stressful day, we turn on the music and just dance. Another family favorite is playing in the mud and water fights. There are endless ways to be silly and playful. We need this playfulness, I believe our love of Snapchat filters and color runs proves this.
Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.
— Dr. Seuss
Mindset is Everything!
We all want to be better at something. Some of us need to lose weight while others just want to be better humans. Maybe you want more success, or to be a better parent. If you are like me you want to be a better everything and that is okay too. If so just pick a spot to start and build from there. This list is just some of my favorite ways to build a healthier mindset. Remember we are all works of art that will never be finished. So just be the best you can be. I found this great Youtube video about mindset, I hope it speaks to you as it did to me.
I would love to hear from you! What are you working on the most right now? What has helped you most to develop a better mindset to achieve your goals?
© 2018 Daniele M Robbers
JC Scull on February 02, 2020:
Daniele M Robbers (author) from Clearlake on April 04, 2019:
Wow thank you Gia I have PTSD too so I can totally relate. I can promise you if you keep at it is does help.
Gia on April 04, 2019:
I really got a lot of value from this post. I have PTSD just recently decided to try work on my mindset as a means to improve my symptoms. You really gave me a great foundation to try this concept out.
Daniele M Robbers (author) from Clearlake on May 04, 2018:
Thank you so very much! I am so glad that you enjoyed it.
Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on April 01, 2018:
Excellent article and you have provided some wonderful suggestions!
I like the sentence, ‘mindset makeover.’ Changing the mindset is very difficult indeed. It is like leaving our comfort zone, and people avoid it as long as they can. Motivating articles, such as this one really helps.
Thanks for sharing your valuable thoughts with the readers.