3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Be Fixed on the Outcome

We all live in a rapidly changing world where we are constantly bombarded with goal creation, reaching our full potential, and creating the life we desire. However, what isn't that much told and spoken about is the heavy fixation on the outcomes and results we so desperately want – outcomes that often aren't in our control.

1. Most Outcomes Cannot Be Controled

Outcomes and results are more often than not uncontrollable. That's a pure fact that cannot be argued with. There is a high chance that you need to have some external factors aligned with your plan to reach your desires. No matter how skilled or focused you are, you still are limited by the world you live in and by other people.

You May Reach the Goal but Not the Outcome

Let's put it into perspective. If your goal before last year was to increase your finances by, let's say, 10 or 15 percent, with the desired outcome of living more freely and having to worry less, even if you have succeeded with your goal, it still isn't the outcome you wanted because the prices increased rapidly due to the inflation, leaving you in the same financial state as you were before, if not worse.

In the case above, you have two options. Either to see it as a failure since the desired outcome was not reached or to praise yourself for doing everything you could to be in a better financial situation.

There are outcomes with both more and less control. If, for instance, your goal is to lose weight to feel lighter and more pretty, then it's more or less only up to you to accomplish since no one can force you to eat more food.

But if you'd change it and your desired outcome would instead be to lose weight, be in better shape, and have significantly improved muscle mass, then external factors start to come into the picture.

Maybe you have it rough financially and need to work very hard to provide for yourself, thus having no productive energy left for a proper workout. Maybe you do not have enough time to prepare quality-rich meals to support your muscle building because you have other things that need your attention, and the list goes on.

My Own Experience

I'll share with you one example from my life that illustrates this very well. I started to play hockey quite late in life, but I still had the desire to reach a certain level that would allow me to play league hockey in some lower leagues.

I wanted it and was determined, but life showed me it wasn't my path. First, I moved to Sweden when I was 12 years old, meaning I had to study much harder in school to achieve good results than my peers. This took a lot of time away from what I would need to put into improving my skating ability and strength training (I didn't have a lot of natural strength).

Another factor hindering my progress was my struggles with often being sick. I was one of those teenagers that struggled with that a lot. Nowadays, I am barely sick, but back then, I would be sick almost every month.

The third external aspect that hit me hard was the bullying I experienced in school. That hit my self-esteem hard, and I don't need to tell you that self-esteem is an absolute key in sports.

When summarizing all this, I realized that I don't need to beat myself up for not reaching the desired outcome. Because if I took away the external factors and just looked at my efforts, they were great. Ironically enough, that realization started to build my self-esteem, and since that, I have achieved high results in other aspects of life.

From success, you learn absolutely nothing. From failure and setbacks, conclusions can be drawn. That goes for your private life as well as your career.

— Niki Lauda

2. It's the Journey That Matters the Most

Every athlete or high performer in any other aspect of life will tell you that it was the journey that meant most to them. The outcome, the result feels fantastic in that particular moment when you've just reached it, but without the path itself, it wouldn't be worth much.

An Achievement's Core Is the Journey Itself, Not the Final Outcome

What makes, for instance, a soccer team go crazy when they win the World Cup? Is it the trophy itself? Or the statistics of the tournament? No, numbers are just numbers. They are worthless.

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But behind a World Cup win, there's a tremendous journey behind every single member of that team. All those years of pushing, of hard training to be where they are. To even have a chance to play for the trophy.

Without all that, a trophy would mean nothing. You can buy yourself a trophy, but how will that make you feel? The thing is that the harder it is to achieve something, the sweeter the reward.

Here's another aspect that can be referred to a sport. If a team or an individual has not been winning for a while, every win after that feels like bliss. If someone is continuously winning, the opposite happens. They are so used to winning that everything except a win feels like a total failure.

We Want Challenge to Make Things Exciting and Rewarding

One more reference. Think of video games. How fun is it, for instance, to play Diablo on the lowest difficulties?

Not at all, cause what's best about those games, such as character building and combat, loses any significance if you walk around killing everybody in one go. It's the same as if you were playing FIFA at the lowest difficulty. When you know that you will win every game, does it feel rewarding to win? Well, not for me.

The same goes for work, relationships, et cetera. If you don't know what effort is required to achieve something, you won't value it that much when and if you finally achieve a desired outcome.

3. Outcomes Will Change Over Time

We change and get new perspectives over time. We get new knowledge, and we develop throughout our life path. So something we wanted to achieve four or five years ago may not even be relevant or significant to us anymore. Change is inevitable. It happens every time, everywhere, in every aspect of existence.

You shouldn't be ashamed or feel down for changing your goals along your journey, changing your approach, as well as your strategies in life. Even if it means you're saying goodbye to certain things you've worked on for a long time. It's just a natural process. It means that you are evolving.

Identify Your Values and Live in Alignment With These

Never forget that everything you've learned so far in life, everything you've experienced, can work in your favor, even if you've just decided to pursue something completely different from now on.

All that experience counts, be it a good or bad one – period. The only thing you need to focus on is to live in alignment with your values. If you do that, you shouldn't ever see yourself as a failure, even if things aren't working out exactly as you planned.

You can't control the world or other people, but you can always control how you react. You either continue to push and try to find pleasure in the journey, no matter how difficult it may be both physically and mentally, or you give up. The choice is all yours to make.

The Bottom Line

The message of this article is not to get fixed on outcomes and results that go beyond your control. It's not about giving up, about not caring. It's about doing your best and praising yourself for your efforts rather than the results.

Keep in mind that even if you don't reach your desired outcome, you will still benefit from all that experience you've gathered on your path.

One last thing: Failure isn't about not reaching your outcome. It's about giving up. If you never give up and push yourself forward, no matter what life throws at you, there will always be a chance. There will always be hope.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2023 Jan Stepan