Anger and the Law of Attraction

Updated on July 21, 2020
Holley Hyler profile image

Holley Hyler is an IT consultant and published freelance writer living in New York.

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Introduction

Most are familiar with the law of attraction, a belief and way of approaching life whose main premise is that people get what they think about and put significant energy toward. According to Wikipedia, it is a part of “New Thought philosophy,” but if you think about it, it does not seem new or like an earth-shattering revelation that can only be linked to spirituality. It seems more like common sense and something we see in action every day.

If someone grows up poor, then they might have more beliefs that would support remaining poor. They might have heard their parents talk about how hard it is to find a decent job or that one must work hard to make enough income just to get by. The mind, which can be limited even in a happy and wealthy upbringing, cannot conceive a life of abundance without understanding it as a possibility. Thus, the person thinks and acts in ways that perpetuate poverty.

If you feel desperate and act upon that feeling, you attract more desperation. For example, if one is desperate to find a romantic relationship because they hate being alone, they tend to find partners that will reinforce their loneliness. If one is desperate for money, they may participate in schemes that harm them financially.

Wherever we are “vibrating” mentally and emotionally is where we eventually find ourselves in physicality. “Thoughts become things” is another way of summing up the LOA. It is not instantaneous, and the thoughts and feelings typically pass through the words and actions over a period of time before results in the physical environment show up.

If it is true, then one might think anger should be avoided like the plague, along with all other unpleasant emotions.

If we spend time being angry and thinking about what got us there, then aren’t we just attracting more of that?

I think it depends.

Why Talk About Anger?

A lot of people feel angry these days. It is understandable to feel that way. It seems we are adding self-help to the long and growing list of things to cancel. People feel frustrated because they think living by the LOA means never expressing unpleasant emotions or dealing with them in productive ways. They think it means expressing gratitude even when it is insincere. These are misconceptions.

What I write here can be said of any other emotion that we may not prefer, but I am calling out anger because I think it may be most relatable right now.

Denying and Hiding from Anger: Right or Wrong?

Human existence is imperfect. It can be divisive and conflict-ridden at times. If we are lucky, we are born into a family that is supportive and loving, but for many, this is not the case. As you mature into an adult, you can choose your own circle of friends and family. However, it is not easy to heal the wounds from the families we are born into.

As you go along in life, people will naturally trip those triggers or help you discover new ones.

People will push your buttons. Some anger is a healthy part of life. How much we attract to be angry about is all in how we deal with it.

I used to be afraid of confrontation, both because of introversion and looking at life through the lens of the LOA. I looked at people who argued their case with others, thinking it all a bunch of unnecessary noise. I did what I could to toe the line, keeping my opinions to myself and hiding some of my more metaphysical articles under a pen name. A life of quiet peace seemed better than putting myself out there for criticism.

But I soon found that spending life avoiding conflict, anger, and pain is not truly a life. I am sure great books have gone unwritten and other works that could have been helpful to humanity have been foregone because the artist felt the need to hide. Boundaries have been trampled, sometimes egregiously so, because one was too fearful to enforce them.

If we look at this scenario from the perspective of LOA, hiding is a fearful action taken to avoid rocking the boat and drawing disapproval. In acting upon a presupposition of disapproval or believing it is wrong to rock the boat, we actually create situations where we are criticized or made to feel wrong for rocking the boat. Not only do we create these, but we are hit even harder by it when it comes up because disapproval and disagreement is such a big deal. We have built a life around them, in a sense, by choosing to hide out of fear of them.

Expressing Anger: Find Your Why

What might one feel after such an instance of rejection or confrontation after building them up in the mind to be so important?

One emotional response is despair: not feeling good enough, not feeling like who one is at heart is acceptable.

Anger is a few steps up from despair and can be another response.

Anger might manifest as one taking a rebellious action or cutting someone off. It could mean directly facing someone to tell them how you feel. While I recommend taking a few deep breaths before engaging in a discussion that could be difficult, there are times when anger can serve you. It can protect you from engaging in harmful situations when you deserve better. It can help you eliminate people and stress that you do not need in your life.

Why we are engaging in an angry response is important when it comes to the LOA. Giving an angry response out of a need to gain validation, teach someone a lesson, or change someone’s mind is different from doing so because you know you deserve better and you need to enforce a healthy boundary.

Acting in anger can also be a form of self-love. Sometimes we need to blow off steam or say how we feel, and there is not always a polite or calming way to do that. While picking up the phone and screaming at someone or tossing a shoe into oncoming traffic should never be a first resort, sometimes we need to do what we need to do. (Please don’t throw your shoe into oncoming traffic, though. That could be dangerous.)

Avoiding Overkill

Once clear on the “why,” we need to figure out how we prefer to express and avoid overkill.

My husband and I made a pit-stop a gas station in West Virginia during a road trip several months ago. He emerged from the bathroom, laughing, and told me that someone had written on the door, “Terry sucks (expletive omitted) daily.” While funny, this is an example of overkill. Number one, Terry must have royally pissed off whoever wrote that. Two, and let us temporarily suspend our judgment of people who deface public property: simply writing that Terry sucks would have sufficed, but it is taken to another level with “daily” tacked onto the end of the sentence. While I have no idea what Terry did, what I do know for certain is the ire that the writer must have been experiencing when he took the action.

While I hope the author of the bathroom graffiti did not experience any harmful repercussions, such as slander or bodily harm, overkill does have a way of keeping one submerged in the unwanted manifestation for a longer period of time.

When we want to live by the LOA, it is best to use anger constructively, in a way that does no harm to person or property, and then move on. Write a poem or a letter that you will never send, write something that can help others, forgive the offense as best you can, and soon enough life will present you with distractions. Once things cool off, you may be able to seek resolution if applicable. You may sometimes find that once you slay one dragon, another is waiting in the wings (no pun intended). This is entirely normal too. Lessons evolve, as do you.

It Is Never Too Late

What if we find we have been manifesting primarily from fear, despair, and anger? It is never too late to flip the script. You may not have control over your feelings, but you can make a new habit of choosing the best thoughts available to you at any point in time. This does not mean stating what you are grateful for or rote repetition of positive thoughts that you do not genuinely believe. There is no technique or method that, when done mindlessly, is going to give you the results you want. You must get a little creative here in finding things to feel good about, and you have to be consistent with it. These two aspects are where a lot of people give up.

Anger is absolutely allowed when living by the law of attraction, and it does not cut you off from experiencing amazing manifestations. It is better to acknowledge rather than hide from it.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Holley Hyler

Comments

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  • profile image

    Narendra kumar 

    2 weeks ago from India

    Knowledgeable content

  • Holley Hyler profile imageAUTHOR

    Holley Hyler 

    2 weeks ago from Upstate New York

    @ Eric, thank you!

    @ Kyler, thanks and absolutely yes! I think with anger, we have to get used to validating ourselves and I agree that when you focus on someone else's response, there is a chance that you will either be disappointed or even angrier in the end. Being passive hurts, and I've encountered many of the passive-aggressive types in life! But I used to be both until my more recent adoption of the "say what you need to say and move on" way. This way is much better for everyone involved... and it means I don't hold on to grudges and can have a sense of humor about things eventually. Humor is also great for dissolving anger, I've found... ;-)

  • Kyler J Falk profile image

    Kyler J Falk 

    2 weeks ago from Corona, CA

    I absolutely agree with this sentiment, that anger is so important to acknowledge actively rather than hide away from it. It seems all too common where someone is visibly fuming, but they choose to bottle it away and be passive aggressive or even worse completely passive. For far too long I was the passive type, letting everyone walk all over me and my feelings, and still today I fall into the habit of being a "doormat."

    However, I'm quickly coming to the realization that anger, in and of itself, is more than justified; expressing it is even more justified and important than simply feeling it. As you say, the most important part of anger is the way in which you express it. The old way of expression for me was bottling it all away until I destroyed thousands of dollars in my own personal possessions in a rampant anger tornado.

    Now, I just confront the anger as soon as it rises in a way that promotes communication as much as it does release of said anger. An important note, however, would have to be that if I focus on the reaction of those I'm angry with, then I always feel like I lose in the end. That's the most difficult part you also mentioned, expressing anger in a way you'll know will be constructive.

    I think you encompassed every facet of this topic perfectly, Holly! Another great one!

  • Ericdierker profile image

    Eric Dierker 

    2 weeks ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

    Interesting. Makes me wonder.

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