Falling in Love With Yourself First

Updated on December 3, 2019
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Sarah is a yoga teacher, custom framer, babysitter, and artist. She loves painting and spending time with her rat, gerbil, and hamster.

Consider this: Who is the one person who has been with you through every trial and every achievement? Who was with you during your great moments and also your embarrassing ones? Who never, and could never, leave you as you take every step on your life's journey? Why, you, of course! You, your consciousness, has always been with you, observing your personal story as it unfolds. You are the main character, flaws and all.

This Is Your Story

How does one fall in love with a character in story? The characters we fall in love with are the ones who are authentically themselves. We love their flaws, and we love them even as we watch them make mistakes or the perceived "wrong" choice. Why is this? It is because these are the characters that are utterly human, and we can not truly know a person and not love them. The same is true for you. The more you learn about the person you really are, you will see that there really is no choice other than to love yourself. Flaws and all.

You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away.

C. JoyBell C.

All You Need Is Already Yours

Sometimes, when we are feeling a lack of love towards ourselves, this can manifest as an urge to fill that space with another person. Do not be afraid to dive into this space, this void, you are trying to fill.

Honestly ask yourself, what part of myself am I neglecting that I need someone else to meet this desire in me? Perhaps you seek affection, intimacy, intellectual stimulation, financial support, or are just plain bored being by yourself. Determine what your desires really are. Then close your eyes and imagine that you are looking at yourself. You are the perfect person to meet all of your inner yearnings. How can you become the person that you are looking for in someone else? Take a breath, and smile at yourself. What would it be like if you met yourself for the first time? Consider embarking on a love story all of your own. Take time to really be with yourself. Watch yourself in your mind's eye. Remember, you are the main character in your story.

You Are the Priority

When you do something that is for your highest good, it sends the message throughout your mind and body that you are a priority. These are not always the most pleasant or indulgent choices. For example, perhaps you show yourself love by going to bed early, or eating a nutritious breakfast and exercising in the morning. When we love a person, we want was is best for them.

Dare to love yourself

as if you were a rainbow

with gold at both ends.

— Author-Poet Aberjhani

This doesn't mean being perfect all the time, it simply means that you desire to give yourself the best chance to thrive in this lifetime. This also includes being compassionate towards yourself when you feel you have made a mistake or failure. Remember, you are always with yourself. Wouldn't you want to be with someone who loves you no matter what happens?

Become Your Own Best Friend

"When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier." - Diane Von Furstenberg

As you begin to fall in love with yourself, you may realize that new freedom begins to blossom within you. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself that you have no one to talk to, perhaps you choose to write your thoughts and feelings in a journal. In fact, you may find yourself having even more fun in your life! What would it be like to go out on a date with yourself? To buy yourself lunch, or go to a favorite museum with yourself? Being by yourself does not have to be lonely.

There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it! Why do you do such a thing?

— C. JoyBell C.

It is a wonderful time to learn about your personal beliefs and values. For example, maybe in the past you would look at a painting and listen to other people's opinions about it. Now, however, you take the time to honestly experience the painting for yourself . . . even if the conclusion you reach is you just think it is garbage! When you start to become yourself, you will automatically become more lovable, both to yourself and others.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


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