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Four Important Life Lessons I Wish I Could Go Back in Time and Tell My Younger Self

Sharon writes about many things including career changes and self-help.

Writers struggle to overcome the behemoths of procrastination and writer’s block. The two conditions cause self-doubt about your skill and talent as a writer. Life is like the writer’s struggle in the way that people magnify obstacles, get stuck and fail to pursue their dreams.

“Goo goo, ga ga!” utters the infant. Parents are wide-eyed at the brilliance of the language. The first baby steps appear as an athletic feat of epic proportions. “He can do anything he wants, after the Olympics,” I said with pomposity and grandeur after my son began to walk.

More than thirty years after my son took his first steps, I am trapped by memories of my early dreams and ambitions. I am uncertain whether the figurative boulders that became my obstacles were real or invented by me.

H.G. Wells inspired the notion of time travel in the novella The Time Machine. Wells was a great writer and a visionary whose ideas are relevant in this century. I am anxious for the invention of a time machine. In the interim, I have four Important life lessons I wish I could go back In time and tell my younger self.

Be Selfish

“Don’t ask, don’t get,” are words to live by. Our intuitive nature rises to the surface when we sense that we are being taken advantage of. Yet we often accept the outcome with ease only to later regret doing so. I have had a lifetime of getting less than I know I deserve.

"Many drain themselves trying to please others and gain their acceptance, but you can’t really gain the acceptance of others when you have not accepted yourself," is an illuminating quote from the Lifehack article 7 Reason Why Selfishness is the Key to Happiness.

Carefully metered and well thought through with a vision for your future. Being selfish is the key to cancelling future regret.

Walk Away From Toxic Relationships

Dr. Lillian Glass in her book Toxic People illuminates our path as we seek clarity. Toxic relationships are equal to “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

Actress Suzanne Sommers knows the pattern too well. ''I am an adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood and that of my brothers and sister was robbed by a terrible and painful disease nobody ever wanted to talk about.''

Dysfunctional relationships have built in problems and many secrets. A child or teen deserves peace and light from the adults in their lives. Protection from an onslaught of verbal and physical abuse is the expectation. Dysfunction becomes the norm as the child moves from teen to adult.

Study the signs and the triggers. Armed with these tools, an adult can identify and learn to walk away from toxic relationships. This includes family members.

Attend Vocational School

I am not alone in wondering what good a college degree has done for me. I got through most of my career with an associates degree and finished my bachelor degree later in life. Employees can succeed without college. Some employers do require a degree for management positions.

Vocational school is perfect for students who struggle with the idea of declaring a college major. The variety of options are impressive and include carpentry, electrician, all things medical related, cosmetology, automotive and the list goes on.

Vo-tech certificates are a fraction of the cost of a four year college degree. You will be up and running in a career within twelve months. A couple of years ago I was speaking with a gentleman who mentioned that his son just received a certification in welding. Right out of the gate he received an offer for fifty-thousand per year. In the Southern United States, that is a good starting salary.


Don't Work For A Jerk

What you do for a living is a big part of who you are. When we work for a jerk we can become what we despise. It is demoralizing and a cancer to the spirit. Plan an exit to a new job. Keep your CV current. Watch and listen to motivational content, maintain your skillset. These actions are the foundation for hope and everyone must have hope.

I am guilty of over-thinking employment choices and job offers. Golden opportunities have slipped through my fingers. It is good to make a list of the reasons to pursue or decline a job. I rely on my intuition and later realize I broke it, along with my crystal ball.

Witty and insightful social media posts get shared thousands of times. A recent post is about giving yourself a break and stop beating yourself up about mistakes made in the past. I'll consider this as a possible out. This is my first time living a life and there were few instructions.

© 2020 Sharon R Hill