How to Control Anger: Stay in Control of Yourself

Updated on December 11, 2018
rohanfelix profile image

Rohan believes that anger management is key to a peaceful life.

Not controlling your anger hurts you and those around you.
Not controlling your anger hurts you and those around you. | Source

If you have difficulty controlling your temper, this article is for you. Most people who fly into a rage say or do things they later regret. You may have already experienced this. I am not a therapist or counselor, so use the suggestions I mention in this article at your discretion.

How to Control Anger

There are many measures you can take to control your anger and stay in a state of balance. When you fly into a rage, you are not in balance. You lose perspective. You become emotional rather than stay logical. Your angry outbursts hurt you and those around you. No one likes to spend time with someone who loses their temper over small matters.

Here are some things you can do to control your anger or avoid angry outbursts altogether.

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When in an Argument, Imagine You Are Being Recorded

If you are someone who often says foolish or hurtful things during an argument, imagining you are speaking with voice recorder on can help you be more circumspect. This will help you weigh every word you say and also help control your volume and speed of talking.

Make Sure You Get Enough Sleep at Night

An under-slept person is an irritable person. If you consistently sleep late, it will reflect in your temper. Make sure you get as close to eight hours of sleep every night as possible. Go to bed and wake up at a consistent time and don't lie in bed with your mobile phone.

Getting enough sleep each night helps you remain calmer during the day.
Getting enough sleep each night helps you remain calmer during the day. | Source

Be Open to Criticism

Don't be oversensitive or touchy. Criticism never destroyed anyone. Constructive criticism helps people become better versions of themselves.

People who are oversensitive are more likely to be offended by minor things and lose their temper. Remember that the right way to express your disagreement with someone's actions is by being assertive and not by flying into a rage.

Don't Overthink

If you have the habit of overthinking things, stop it. Overthinking distorts your perspective and makes you blow things out of proportion. Every time you catch yourself thinking too long about something that is not actually important, change the subject or, better yet, do some pending work. This will be more productive than wasting your energy on thinking about something that isn't very important or which you have no control over.

Make a Habit Of Speaking Slowly and Softly

In general, develop the habit of enunciating your sentences properly when speaking. Focus on intonation and tone. Maintain this habit at all times. This will help you stay within yourself during an argument and actually turn the argument into a meaningful debate or discussion.

Meditate Daily

Some people claim meditation will help you walk on water and move things with your gaze. Meditation isn't that powerful, but it is definitely helpful in making people calmer and more in control of themselves.

Start meditating daily. Don't skip days. If you miss a day or two, don't beat yourself up about it. Just continue the practice. Make it a part of your life. Over time, you will notice that it gives you a better sense of who you are and a broader perspective of the world in general.

Also, It has been established that meditation helps control blood pressure levels.

Meditation helps you see things for what they really are.
Meditation helps you see things for what they really are. | Source

Drink Plenty of Water and Eat on Time

Water is a miracle medicine. It helps control numerous conditions. Never allow yourself to remain on an empty stomach for long. Keep a water bottle handy and take frequent sips. Don't allow your lips to go dry.

Regardless of how much work you have on hand, never skip meals. Hunger, like the lack of sleep, makes a person irritable.

Hang Out With Friends More Often

A feeling of loneliness may be making you an angry person. Make sure to spend as much time as possible in the company of friends. It's totally okay to be an introvert, but everyone needs their friends from time-to-time. Meaningful friendships are a bedrock of the lives of happy people.

Friends are great stress-busters!
Friends are great stress-busters! | Source

Be Aware of When You're Angry

Some people don't even realize when they are angry though those around them notice. They seem excitable and speak in a raised pitch. If you need to nip anger in the bud, you need to know when it creeps up on you. Meditation is a big help in this regard.

Avoid the News Whenever Possible

News, by its very nature, is a negative medium that carries information about politics, deaths, accidents, and companies going under. Your first dose of negativity in the morning comes either from social media feeds or from the newspaper.

Avoid the news as much as possible. You don't need any more drama in your mind or in your life. It's, of course, okay to stay updated on sport and the markets!

Listen Before You Respond

Develop the habit of listening to the entirety of what someone has to say before you respond. Be a listener even in an argument. This will not just check your behavior, but also earn you respect from the person on the other side.

Everybody loves a listener.
Everybody loves a listener. | Source

Don't Rush to Conclusions

Our wrong opinions of people based on arguments often cloud our judgment of them. We decide things about them that are false and we speak ill of them. When we see such people again, we treat them badly and lose our temper with them. Much confusion, ill will and anger could have been avoided if only we had exercised more patience.

See Things From the Other Person's Perspective

A major part of being patient lies in seeing things from the point-of-view of the other. Doing so puts conflict situations in the right perspective and helps avoid unnecessary escalations.

Maintain a Gratitude Journal

A gratitude journal is a diary in which you list the things you are thankful for on a particular day. This journal is usually filled at the end of each day before bedtime.

Like meditation, maintaining a gratitude journal is a habit that is built up over time. When you write in your journal each night, you are forced to count your blessings from the day rather than ruminate on the negatives. This causes your attitude to change. Over a period of time, you begin to look at the bright side of things and become an optimist.

Maintaining a gratitude journal will make you an optimist.
Maintaining a gratitude journal will make you an optimist. | Source

Decide If Something Is Worth Getting Angry About

There is definitely such a thing as righteous anger, but before losing your cool over something, decide if it is worth getting angry about. There is no point in losing your composure over trifles.

Take a Walk

It makes sense to remove yourself from the place where you get angry. Take a walk if needed. Walking is often recommended by counselors as an effective way to shift your emotions and get back into balance. It also helps that walking, like meditation, helps to keep blood pressure under check.

Listen to Music

Listening to music is another way by which you can shift your emotions. Music helps to channel emotions in the right direction and prevents one from suffering a breakdown. Such is the power and efficacy of music.

Listening to music helps curb the rage within.
Listening to music helps curb the rage within. | Source

Channel the Rage Through a Personal Project

If you feel hurt within by the actions of a person or a group of people, you can channel your inner energy to pursue a passion project. Anger will come in useful in such a situation by helping you stay focused on your undertaking.

Your project could be anything that you've wanted to do for a while: carpentry, a YouTube channel, a blog, gardening, or just about anything.

Think About Brighter Things

Mental diversion is useful in avoiding the effects of bitterness. It involves being mindful of where your mind wanders and gently redirecting it to a more pleasant thought when required.

Go on Vacation

If your daily life gets too jaded and stress-filled, consider going on a vacation to a quiet place. You can go alone or with a loved one. The time you spend away from the things that wear you out mentally will help you recharge yourself and put on a more authentic and pleasant demeanor.

Going on vacation relaxes frayed nerves.
Going on vacation relaxes frayed nerves. | Source

Watch Funny YouTube Clips

YouTube can be a source of distraction, but it can also be a lifesaver. Consider watching a few funny sketches or stand-up sessions to help you get past through an angry phase.

As a Last Resort, Reach Out to a Therapist

If all else seems ineffective, consider going for therapy. There need be no shame or stigma involved. Everyone needs help at some point in life. The therapist will help you identify the triggers in your life that lead to you losing your composure and also assist in formulating a strategy to deal with them.

The following table summarizes this article and lists the things you can do to keep your anger under control.

How to Control Your Anger

 
 
 
When arguing, imagine you are being recorded.
Sleep enough.
Have an open mind to criticism.
Avoid overthinking.
Speak softly and slowly.
Meditate daily.
Drink enough water and eat on time.
Hang out with friends.
Recognize when you are angry.
Avoid the news when possible.
Listen before you speak.
Be patient and see the opposing perspective.
Maintain a gratitude journal.
Decide if something is worth your anger.
Take a walk.
Listen to music.
Work on a personal project.
Think positive.
Go on vacation.
Watch funny YouTube clips.
Seek professional help.
The Things You Can Do to Handle Anger.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

If you find this article useful, share it with someone who could benefit from it.

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    • LADS Family profile image

      The Sampsons 

      10 months ago from The Ozarks, Missouri

      I liked reading this. I'm much better these days (thanks to being older and wiser) however I hope some younger readers will come to this page and take your suggestions.

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