How to Increase Your Self-Confidence

Updated on July 20, 2018
jessjader profile image

I've suffered from depression since I was very young. Overcoming it has been a lifelong struggle that I have overcome!

Confidence Is Important!

Self-confidence is the key to strong and healthy relationships. Whether it be a friendship, business or interpersonal relationship, having self-confidence will make others want to be around you and interact with you. To raise your confidence, first you have to recognize that there is a problem. Like all issues we encounter throughout our lives, recognizing a problem is the first step in solving it. Next, understand and delve into what that problem is and why it exists in the first place. In this article, I will cover different ways to remedy this situation and last, but not least, I will give suggestions on setting a goal and achieving it.

“Grind me, crush me, beat me

But low I shall not lie

I shall bounce back with much more fervour

And my zeal shall touch the sky…”

— Neelam Saxena Chandra

1. Determine Why Your Confidence Is Low

In order to solve the issue of low self-confidence, I believe that you have to acknowledge that there is an issue. Why do you have low self-esteem? After all, no one knows you better than you know yourself. A lot of people suffer from body issues, self-respect issues, feeling unappreciated, or social anxiety. Pinpointing underlying issues is the first step to solving it.

Negative self-talk is one of the biggest issues I personally face. I constantly have to stop myself from demeaning myself and putting myself down. Since I have made an effort to change this within my own life, I have noticed that not only is my self confidence higher but so is my self esteem.

Letters to Myself
Letters to Myself

2. Write a Letter to Yourself

Have you ever written a note to someone just to show them that they're appreciated and loved?! How did that person react? Probably with joy and happiness. Writing a simple note to yourself can do the same thing. This can help express emotion and raise confidence by reminding yourself that you are important to yourself. When writing the letter, be sure to include things about yourself that you find awesome. Remind yourself of the important things you want to work on in your life. Make sure the note is uplifting. Your goal is not to put yourself down, but lift yourself up!

If you are struggling with this, start small. Create two lists: one that lists qualities about yourself that you like, and the second being qualities about yourself that you don't like. Take the negative list and brainstorm ways you can change or modify these aspects to move onto a positive and healthy self-image.

3. Use Post-it Notes as Daily Reminders

Scattering Post-it notes in your bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen can really, truly help your self-confidence. Little reminders that you are awesome can't hurt, so why not try them! I started out with just one, "don't forget to be awesome," written on my bathroom mirror. Everyday I go in to do my morning routine and I see that note written to myself and it renews my determination to be awesome! Reminding yourself about the aspects of you that you enjoy, is an important tool in building up your confidence. You have to appreciate yourself if you ever hope to feel better. This is also a helpful tool in defeating negative self-talks. The power of positivity in and around our lives is simply amazing. If you make a serious effort in trying to change the way you think about yourself, I promise, you will see a massive change.

Going for a hike, just for me!
Going for a hike, just for me!

4. Do Something Just for You

Doing something nice for yourself can really help in building up an appreciation for yourself. It's not selfish or self-centered to treat yourself every once in a while. Pick a thing you love to do, whether it's painting your nails, walking in a favorite park, doing a puzzle or just picking up a favorite snack. Do it for you and only you. Taking the time to do something just for you can show yourself that you are important.

5. Set a Goal and Achieve It!

When trying to pick a goal to achieve, make sure it has these elements:

  • It's realistically achievable
  • It's important to you
  • It will help you move forward

If the goal is big, if it is something you have always wanted to do but don't see anyway to achieve it, do not fear! Set little goals along the way that you can feel proud of and will help you move forward with the ultimate goal. Try to also tie in what we covered at the beginning of this—why do you have low self-confidence in the first place. If you can set a goal relating to that aspect of yourself, it will only help you in the end. Do not belittle even your smallest accomplishments. It is important for you to realize that reaching even a small goal is positive! You are worth loving, you are worth doing for, and you matter. Remember these steps and make a change.

Goals Don't Have to Be Big

Walk around the block everyday for a week.

Complete a 1,000 piece puzzle.

Finish a book in 3 days.

Sign up to be a volunteer once a week/month.

Write everyday for a month.


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    • profile image


      3 months ago

      As someone who struggles with confidence this is useful. And I must say, you don’t need to worry about forgetting to be awesome, you do it unconsciously! ^^

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      2 years ago from Sunny Florida

      You have multiple good suggestutions for enhancing your self esteem. I went through a time where mine was to low, but no longer. I think some of it has to do with how a child is raised,so they grow up feeling like they fall short. I think this is a good article with these suggestions.


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