Quick Emotional Intelligence Quiz
Simply put, emotional intelligence (known as EQ or EI) is having a full awareness of yourself, others, and the situation, and then having the ability to choose what thoughts, feelings, words, and actions are going to have the highest chance of success in getting the results you want.
People with high emotional intelligence are successful in their personal and professional relationships. They are able to connect easily with others, manage conflict, and achieve their goals with greater ease.
Below is a quiz with 10 high EQ statements—read them one by one, and rate yourself on how true each statement is for you.
This quiz gives you a quick assessment of your current level of emotional intelligence. Remember that what your score is today doesn’t matter. What you choose to do with this information is what will define you and dictate your future.
Whatever area of your life you'd like to see an improvement in (confidence, stress-relief, leadership, business, relationships), emotional intelligence training is the single fastest and easiest way to transform your reality.
Investment in raising your level of emotional intelligence is an investment that lasts a lifetime. After you have learned these skills, you never lose them, and they will continue to have a positive impact on your life for years to come.
Here are two tools that you can do this week to improve your emotional intelligence (EI).
EI Tool #1: Take a timeout when you are emotional
When you are angry, defensive and reactionary, you are operating from your reptilian brain. Your reptilian brain is not designed to think clearly, be creative or see solutions. The reptilian brain is only about to do three things: fight, flight or freeze. Since these three things will not help to have a productive conversation, you need to get back into your cortex or thinking brain. You can do this by taking a time out and asking yourself some questions. Asking yourself questions helps to move you into your ‘smart’ brain, where you can more easily assess what is happening and make a choice that will move you in the direction that you want to go. Here are some great questions to ask yourself:
What do I want for myself in this situation?
What do I want for the other person in this situation?
What do I want my relationship with this other person to be like? (think big picture)
Not only will asking yourself these questions help you get into your cortex, they will also help you decide what your next action step needs to be so that you can create what you want.
One of the keys to high emotional intelligence is knowing how to move from your reactive (reptilian) brain into your thinking (cortex) brain. The more you do this, the easier and quicker it will become.
EI Tool #2: Get Curious
Curiosity is my favorite emotional intelligence tools. It is easy to use and has powerful results. The first step to growing your Emotional Intelligence is getting curious about yourself. As humans, we all tell ourselves “stories” about the data around us. However, usually, we are so sure our stories are true, we don’t even realize that they are made up by us and unique to us. Some of us have a hard time even recognizing the difference between data and story. Here are a few examples:
Data Vs. Story
You were really upset with me yesterday.
You walked out of the room and slammed the door.
You were very unprofessional and rude with the client.
You didn't look the client in the eye or shake his hand and you interrupted him twice.
You are doing such good work.
Your work has had no spelling or punctuation errors.
I am concerned that you are working way too much
I am concerned because you worked an average of 56 hours the past three weeks.
Sometimes, the story we tell ourselves about others can differ from the story we tell about ourselves—even if the data is the same.
Story You Tell
One of your peers buys the boss a birthday card
It's because they are kissing-butt and trying to weasel their way in for a promotion
You buy your boss a birthday card
It's because you are warm and caring
Someone cuts you off while driving
They are rude, agressive and inconsiderate
You cut someone off while you are driving
It's because you are in a hurry and if you don't catch these lights you'll miss your appointment
Someone yells at the post office clerk
They are bad-tempered
You yell at the post office clerk
It's because you're tired and this is the 3rd time you've been here trying to resolve the problem and the post office keeps making the same mistake which is costing you money
To increase your level of emotional intelligence, you must understand the difference between data and story and be able to recognize it. In addition, you also can begin to be curious about yourself and your specific stories. When you judge someone or tell yourself a story about someone, that judgment and story say more about you than they do about the other person. This is a great tool to learn more about yourself.
You can learn more about increasing your emotional intelligence by reading some of the great books on the subject or hiring an emotional intelligence coach to work with you one-on-one.