What Are the Keys to Self-Love?

Updated on October 27, 2017
cassandralea profile image

I have studied emotional health, chakra systems, yoga, rebirthing, reiki, and personal transformation coaching.

The Question

I asked a friend who is clearly the epitome of self-love: What are the keys to self-love? He chuckled and replied, "Well, let me tell you." His confidence beaming over the zoomcast, I could feel his heart expanding and his energy filling the screen. He was ever so happy to talk about himself!

"I am my number one fan," he began, and I sat back to take it in. Hmm, if I could be brave enough to say that, I thought to myself. I imagined those finger puppets at sports games and holding one up for myself.

The Self-Love Guru


But how good can it be?

“What are the true tenets of loving thy self?” I prodded.

“Believing completely in yourself," he continued. That's a brave, bold statement, I thought. Holy, it's a move from where I am to a move of much more respect for myself—which is rightly so. Intellectually, I think we all know we deserve love. I proclaimed that I deserved love. “I demand it!" he proclaimed, as I continued to feel buoyed by his enthusiasm.

We talked about mirror work, and we've all done it from time to time, or perhaps not. But to make it a part of every day seems brash, egotistical perhaps. But what if we begin the practice, and the words become more endearing, or if we see something new in our eyes, something sweet that dares to be acknowledged in our fast paced world rushing by us. What if our soul hears us?

How well do you love yourself?

Do you tell yourself more positive things than negative?

See results



Do you remember?

What do you love about you? What have you accomplished that makes you feel proud? Keep these answers on rolodex, to refresh your memory and claim your place as a righteous expression of Universal Love. That is our place, and who are we to negate the wonder of our beingness... ?


Stay Organized!

Give yourself rewards for hitting goals. Plan your day in a daytimer, a daily daytimer, and feel satisfied at the end of the day when you have completed all of it. Plan accordingly, and focus on completing three to five important tasks. This act alone will move your career ahead on the fast track. Most people bog themselves down with many tasks and equally weigh them, then feel flustered when the bigger jobs get sidelined.

I just purchased a four person daytimer, and I've sectioned off each 'person' as a role: 1. Maintenance - meditation, yoga, smoothie/breakfast and showering for the day. I give myself two hours for this then begin work. My daily tasks fall into 2. Administration, 3. Content creation, and 4. Principal Management or P.R. I am beginning a new system to help me see where my time goes and what is getting done. In the future I will employ others to fulfill these tasks, or those that can be delegated. Don't we always read, delegate things that are not your strengths? Staying on track fills our hearts and souls with JOY!

The Five Love Languages

In the book, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, I know that when someone shows me Acts of Service, I feel loved and when I do Acts of Service for someone, I feel I am showing love. So this applies to me also, which is why having a calendar and getting work done makes me feel good about myself and makes me feel loved. We must participate in the process!

In meditation over the weekend, I realized that I am the sum of my parts, the total of ALL the good deeds I've ever done and I am indeed a treasure! When I accept this accolade for myself, I straighten my spine, feel relaxed allowing the confidence of work done well to take the helm. I am a child of the Universe and I must allow Love for me to be the truth of who I am. I must allow the Love of the Universe to be my magic carpet ride. Its only right.

Self-Love is yours for the having!

And finally, take time to look around and appreciate where you are. You will only come by this way once, with these conditions so you may as well enjoy it! One day you my be pining for these days of simplicity. Recently, I was driving down the highway, lamenting my current blahs and trials, eyes focused straight ahead. It was mesmerizing, foot pressing down on the pedal, aiming to Get There. Then I realized how unwell I was feeling. I sat back and began to look out the window on both sides of the car, to take some breaths, and look at the scenery - the trees bending in the wind, the clouds moving across the horizon, the expanse of openness stretching far into the distance. Immediately, I began to feel better. I felt happier and smiled within. It didn't need to be so intense! Thank Goodness!!

So these are some simple reminders about how to treat yourself as the God/Goddess you are, because who will do it if you don't?! My friend was thrilled to be asked about his self-love and I felt better for asking him! Honour the gift of love you have been given and sit back enough to enjoy the ride.

Self-Love is yours for the having.

Talk to yourself as you would a child

Love yourself up with your words! Say wonderful things to yourself and boost your self-esteem. Its okay! Do it! Tell yourself all the amazing things you've done, talk about the delicious meal you just made yourself as you sit in front of the plate, hone in on your specialty and deliver it to the world. Be your own biggest fan! Love yourself unconditionally and just as a mother or grandmother would. You deserve it! Bring on self-indulgence! Why not?!


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