Getting To Know Yourself Better: 10 Questions To Ask

Updated on May 26, 2018
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Juliet works as an artist, but has a penchant for working with, studying and writing about relationships and personal success.

Do you really know yourself? Or do you only know the you that others have told you you should be? For a long time, I didn’t know myself really. So to compensate, I’d believe things that others said about me or things that I thought were neat or cool to associate myself with and take them on as my own. These things I took on as a part of myself included subjects I should and should not be good at in school, friends I should associate myself with, music and TV shows I should like, views I should take on, feelings I should feel, jobs I should do, etc.

Over time, I truly became the things that I identified with most, and at around the age of 40, my life really began to show it. Although I had some really good stuff in my life, I still hadn’t reached the milestones I’d hope to in my career. My self-worth and self-esteem were also pretty low, and I was experiencing heavy thoughts of suicide.

Universal Intervention

I was really in a bad way. But in time, the universe began to intervene. Slowly, the tools I needed to improve myself and my circumstances began to appear along my path. Among these tools was the movie, I Am Not Your Guru, featuring Tony Robbins.

I watched this movie one evening and was so touched and inspired by what Tony Robbins had to say that I wanted more, and I found it by watching his videos on Youtube. I’d watch these videos every night before bed and often wake up the next morning thinking about the things that Tony Robbins says everyone needs to have to achieve the success they most desire—clarity, certainty and a breakthrough.

One morning, I woke up with a particularly strong sense of clarity and certainty. I began to write as I usually did at the time. Before long, I'd had a breakthrough. It came in the form of the list of questions I needed to ask myself to truly get to know myself better.

I’ll share this list of questions with you, but first I want to talk about why it’s so very important to take time and opportunities to truly get to know yourself better.

Why Getting to Know Yourself Is Important

Since getting to know yourself better puts you in touch with who you really are instead of who others have told you you should be, it can be a big help in developing your senses of clarity, certainty, and confidence. After all, once you know something without a doubt, it's much easier to stand up for and defend it right? It's when you don't know something without a doubt that you often second guess, which is what I did for many, many years, and still catch myself doing from time to time.

Getting to know yourself can also be useful in helping you notice patterns in your life, which can help you better identify those areas in your life that you enjoy, or might need or want to work on and improve. It can also help you notice and become conscious of those spaces in life where you might get triggered or trip up, so you can begin to work out a plan to get past them.

Coming to know yourself better can also help you keep your thoughts and emotions on the up-and-up and can help clue you into your own potential such that you can truly appreciate yourself much better.

Getting To Know Yourself: 10 Questions To Ask

Now that you know why taking the time to truly get to know yourself is important, here is a list of 10 questions you can start asking yourself to begin the process of discovering who it is you truly are. Keep in mind that although most of the questions may look easy to answer (and very well might be), answering them is not for the faint of heart.

Answering the questions may also take some time and require emotional honesty on your part, and you may have to stop, start and refer back to the questions several times before you feel finished. Either way, don't give up because your true self is just waiting to be discovered.

Here is the list of questions:

  1. What kinds of things have consistently left you feeling happy, joy-filled or inspired during the course of your life thus far? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any moments or times (big or small) that made you feel happy, inspired you, or filled your heart with joy multiple times. For example, is it a pretty sure bet that you almost always feel happy when you see a sunrise? Write these moments down as your answers. Keep in mind that you can add to or change your answers anytime.
  2. What kinds of things have you consistently liked during the course of your life thus far? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any moments or times (big or small) that you truly liked something you ate, drank, watched, saw, smelled, heard, wore or experienced multiple times. For example, is there a particular food you've always loved? A song or style of music you've almost always enjoyed? Some sort of clothing you've almost always enjoyed wearing? Write these moments down as your answers. Keep in mind that you can add to or change your answers anytime.
  3. What kinds of activities do you (or have you) consistently enjoyed doing during the course of your life thus far? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any moments or times (big or small) that you truly enjoyed what you were doing multiple times. For example, is it a pretty sure bet that you almost always enjoy having coffee or watching a sports game with a friend? Write these moments down as your answers. Keep in mind that you can add to or change your answers anytime.
  4. What kinds of things have you consistently wanted to experience during the course of your life thus far? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any moments or times (big or small) that you've thought about experiencing specific things multiple times. For example, is it a pretty sure bet that you've often thought about taking a road trip, seeing a certain band in concert or getting married? Write these experiences down as your answers. Keep in mind that you can add to or change your answers anytime.
  5. What kinds of activities (enjoyable or not enjoyable) have you found yourself consistently doing during the course of your life thus far? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any activities (big or small) that you've consistently found yourself doing during the course of your life thus far. For example, have you almost always been one who assures that something is clean, taken care of or in good repair? Write these moments down as your answers. Keep in mind that you can add to or change your answers anytime.
  6. What kinds of situations or circumstances (good or bad) keep showing up in your life? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any situations or circumstances (big or small, good or bad) that you've repeatedly found yourself in during the course of your life thus far. For example, have you found yourself in situations of drama multiple times, or maybe abuse or good fortune? Write your answers down. Don't forget that you can add to or change them anytime.
  7. What types of people keep showing themselves in your life? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any types of people that you've repeatedly encountered during the course of your life thus far. For example, have you repeatedly encountered drama queens or irresponsible or abusive friends? Or maybe you've always encountered good people. Whatever your answers are, write them down and keep in mind that you can add to or change them if you need to later.
  8. What types of emotions keep showing themselves in your life? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any emotions that have consistently shown themselves during the course of your life. For example, do you often feel anxious or depressed? Or do you often feel frustrated or angry? Or do your emotions fluctuate, or are you almost always happy-go-lucky? Whatever they are, write your answers down. Keep in mind that you can add to or change them anytime.
  9. What types of reactions have you consistently had during different situations, circumstances or events that have occurred during the course of your life thus far? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any reactions that you've consistently had in certain situations, circumstances or events (big or small) you've experienced during the course of your life thus far. For example, do you become easily flustered during situations or circumstances that feel stressful to you? Or are you easily angered when one person does something to "ruin your day"? Whatever your answers are, write them down. Keep in mind that you can add to or change them later.
  10. What kinds of things have consistently left you feeling disheartened, frustrated, sad or angry during the course of your life thus far? Start from as far back as you can remember and work your way up to now. Recall any situations or circumstances (big or small) where you've felt disheartened, frustrated or sad during the course of your life thus far. For example, do you feel frustrated when you feel things don't go your way? Or do you feel disheartened when you feel excited about something and a best friend feels the opposite? Whatever your answers are, write them down. Keep in mind that you can add to or change them later.

That's it! 10 questions to ask to get to know who you really are much better. What will you discover and uncover as you begin taking the time to find your own answers to these questions for yourself? Sit down at your favorite digital device or computer, or grab a favorite notebook and pen and start finding out. The real you is waiting!


© 2018 Juliet Parrott-Merrell

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